The Church Seat
tune – Mountains of Mourne

A man from the Black Isle he bought a church seat
Had a vision in mind where he thought it might fit
After checking the size too big for the place
A major concern if his house it would grace
Now in a quandary not knowing what to do
Perhaps a solution to cut it in two
This brought other problems now under much strain
He hoped his purchase would not be in vain.

He lifted his phone to his Dad in the West
His joinery skills again put to test
He surveyed the seat when time did permit
A bit of a challenge he had to admit
He sourced some good timber from a mill close at hand
A good reputation throughout the whole land
Not quite the right width but had a rich grain
With a ‘bit’ added on the true shape could retain.

The seat soon transported ‘way up to the West
The man charged with the job would do his best
He marked it all out with precision and care
A weight on his shoulders he now had to bear
Under great pressure the work to complete
Would have to be finished real tidy and neat
He started the job and progress was good
Albeit he noticed small holes in the wood.

He just carried on as intended to do
And soon the big seat was divided in two
Reported the holes but told to proceed
‘Just order the treatment as much as you’ll need’
He altered and rounded the seat as required
Followed instructions as the ‘big man’ desired
The other half then commenced to prepare
Already a template with which to compare

Now under more pressure phase two to complete
The ‘man’ in a hurry to make use of the seat
We ‘dressed’ the new ends and cut them to shape
All as per plan and as the template
Chamfered the edges then screwed them on tight
The support in the middle to balance it right
Re-fitted the shelf behind the top rail
All in accordance with existing detail.

The seats are now ready for collection some time
Back to Baile-meadhan away down the line
No more dreaded phone calls for a progress report
Can now sleep at ease, without liquid support
I now close these few lines my story complete
They will be a focus where people can meet
And in years to come they’ll set and reflect
And remember the heritage they helped to protect.